Most of my blogging will be done there, since life pretty much revolves around the kids!

Thank GOD my house doesn't look like this everyday.

In case you haven’t already know, my eldest girl is 2 years old & my twins are about 5 months old now. We don’t have a maid because I don’t like the idea of having a stranger around the house. My eldest goes to the child care on weekdays, so that I can focus on the twins who now need a lot of attention.

On weekends sometimes hubby goes out for appointments, on others he’s around to help out. My MIL comes by weekly for a few hours to spend time with her grandchildren, while my parents try to have my eldest at their place overnight weekly too. Occasionally we get a movie day out without the kids.

I’m lucky that way to have family who can help out so that I can have a breather.

I know I’ve “bragged” about how I have 3 kids with little help, and I do invite curiousity & envy from strangers who find out I have 3 kids without a maid & get little help. Strangers often comment, “Wow how do you manage?!” “You’re so capable!”

I’m no Supermom. Really. Unless I can pack 27 hours in a day.

I should print a t shirt with this on my CHEST.

I’m very very blessed that I have people who can help. My husband doesn’t have a 9-5 job so his time is really flexible. If I fall sick or injure myself (which I am very prone to, but that’s another story) he can take a few hours off and help me out.

All these I have, it’s God’s grace. Even if I am a Supermom, it’s only possible because of Him. It’s something that I can NEVER accomplish on my own, no matter how much help I have.

Praise the Lord!

EA Sports Active 2 is available for the PS3, Wii & Xbox360

I’ve been eyeing this for quite a while now to use on my PS3, resisting the urge to buy because of its price tag of $139. I wasn’t sure if this was going to be something that I’d really stick to. I’ve seen a few games similar to this that don’t really work as real workout “games.”

So when I saw that this was going for $59 at a local game store, I grabbed it!

Still I had my reservations.

This consists of a heart rate monitor which is strapped to your left arm, and 2 other sensors that go onto the right arm & right thigh. It comes with a USB receiver which is plugged into the PS3.

I chose the 3 week workout program, which I have to do a minimum of 4 workouts per week. The very first workout lasted 20minutes consisting of 24 exercises from warm-up to cooling down. I haven’t properly exercised ever since my 1st baby so it was really a huge challenge for me.

This morning I woke up with an aching body, more so on my thighs. So I guess it really works. In order to make this a fair experiment, this means I also have to watch my diet. It gets a bit tricky though, as my calorie intake is supposed to be higher due to the fact that I’m breastfeeding.

Let’s see how this goes in a week!

Product information can be found here.

Disclaimer: I am not sponsored by them to blog about this in case you’re wondering.

Had my 24 week OB review last Monday. Everything looks good, with the twins on track on their growth. These days I’ve been referring to this chart for my twins’ targeted weights at the various gestational ages. I do expect about 5-10% difference though, considering that these are based on Caucasian babies who are more likely to be bigger. Also, I doubt my petite Asian frame will be able to accommodate 2 babies close to 3kg EACH at week 38, considering that Lauralynn was 2.8kg at birth when I delivered her 1 day short of full term.

I’ve been worrying a lot about whether I’m putting on enough weight, whether the twins are getting enough, as well as anxious about how far I can get along this pregnancy. I’ve been reading too many experiences about pre-term labor and premature twins needing to spend weeks and months in NICU.

However, I’m still quite optimistic about hitting the 37 week mark, in which the babies should be weighing far more than 2kg. Not only will they most likely avoid NICU, they’ll also most likely be developed mature enough to graduate from the womb. Our goal is still 37 weeks, which is on 8 October.

The only way to see if they’re growing well is through my monthly OB visits, which are expected to become fortnight reviews once I’m 28 weeks pregnant next month. I’m hoping that they’ll each be at least 1 kg, which is “on track” according to the chart. Of course other things to look out for are amniotic fluid, placenta, my weight, blood pressure, etc.

So far I’ve put on about 8kg, which I think is decent since my OBGYN isn’t complaining, and since the babies are absorbing their nutrients & growing well too.

Discomforts are aplenty, since my womb is the size of a 30 week pregnancy. I’ve been having my ribs kicked and prodded, interrupted sleep at night due to the “party” going on inside and the sheer weight I’m carrying. Considering that the weight of each baby is equivalent to the weight of the placenta + water bag, this means that I am carrying at least 2-3kg of baby weight, excluding the fats and what-nots.

Less than 3 months to go!

In another month I’ll be 28 weeks pregnant. That means I’d be less than 10 weeks away from delivering the babies.

I think the real countdown will start next month. Not sure what to expect. Have gotten most of what we need.

Anxious.

At this stage, I do feel that she is ready to share some love and attention with her siblings. She is willing and sometimes eager to share her food (yes her food) with other people, though with a pinch of cheekiness. I am not sure if this is just a passing phase but I will definitely milk as much as I can from this. Hopefully she will be able to handle the arrival of her new siblings with greater ease.

The preparation work of course, had begun from the day I found out about this pregnancy, and I am pleased with how well it is going. The only task remaining for me would be to research on child care alternatives. I do want to explore child care centres as an option, but I know there will be people who will object to it, giving them good reason to convince me that we need a maid.

I must admit though, that on some days I am really convinced that we need a maid, while I am less swayed on others. Anyway as mentioned before, having a maid will be a last resort more than a first choice.

On a lighter note, had dinner at Swensen’s with Brian & Nuha. Love their company. Laura wasn’t in her best moods and was very cranky and fussy, which we suspect is due to another teething episode. She has got the runny nose again, so I am quite convinced it’s teething + she wouldn’t let us put a finger into her mouth + she kept biting on this plastic thing.

Brian bought a stuffed monkey for her, which really calmed her down after dinner when we went shopping a bit. I bought a notebook to jot down my twin pregnancy thoughts and doodles, plus make up to make myself happy. Okay that’s all for tonight.

Next week is spent celebrating the girl’s birthday!

Initially that’s what I thought too, until I started weighing the pros & cons and figured that I was very unwilling to risk the cons in hopes of more pros.

Let’s talk about the advantages of hiring a maid first:

Help with the household chores – this is probably like the biggest advantage screaming at us. I get help with the housework which in my opinion is almost pointless considering that I keep it tidy & clean at all times. I don’t cook at all, only for the kids, laundry is done every few days, and we currently have a weekly cleaner to do a thorough cleaning job. I personally think my house is too clean for the maid to spend everyday cleaning it from top to bottom.

Help with the kids – another advantage to highlight. This I’m not very keen on. I’m selfish and I want my kids to stick to me. Okay, not really that. The point is I’d love to have 100% say in how I discipline my kids and I don’t need a stranger to go and say, “It’s okay it’s okay don’t cry” when the kid is throwing a temper tantrum. Then you have to scold BOTH the kid and the maid. & worse is when the kid thinks the next time he wants something his way, the maid is here to save the day.

That’s about it, and you can see why these don’t really appeal to me.

Cons:

Problematic maid. To be fair, it all boils down to luck on whether you get a good maid or not. If you don’t get along with the maid, you get a whole new set of emotional stress and send the maid back for another one, then start training all over again.

My MIL has pointed out that we should hire a maid without giving her any off days. The reason is so that she won’t go out gallivanting on her off-days and get influenced by other maids to become rebellious. However, isn’t it cruel to make the maid stay at home every day until the next time she goes back to her country? Seriously, if I was cooped up at home the whole day and didn’t have ANY friends to talk to, I’d go crazy. I might even kill my own kids. True, it prevents trouble from brewing, but I cannot get past this. I can’t believe she can even BRING THIS UP! Also, wanting a maid without off days also means you have to pay her more.

2 year contract. I don’t see myself staying at home with my kids the rest of my life. I do intend to go back to work. Even if I don’t intend to go back to work, I’d love to spend my free time doing volunteer work or helping out at the church/community, etc, when the kids are slightly older. If I find a job that pays well, I’m not going to leave all 3 of my children alone at home with the maid. It’ll be even more pointless to send them to the CC and leave the maid alone. Heck, if one thinks I cannot handle 3 children & housework on my own, why should they expect my maid to?!

I just don’t want to. I’m not comfortable with having a stranger in my house, and I have to actually make some private space for her. It’s MY house! The only other people who gets some privacy will be my children when they’re like 16. But that also doesn’t mean I won’t go snooping around their stuff when they’re off at school.

I do understand that it’s not going to be easy to handle 2 kids at least, and 3 kids over the weekend and holidays. My intention is to drop the girl off at child care when she’s around 16-17 months old, and let her be there for, say, the first 6 months. If I feel ready to handle all my kids by then, then I’ll probably have half day CC for her. We can keep our part-time cleaner, and I could get part-time help with the twins say twice a week. It’s going to be cheaper & less stressful than having a stranger to live with.

It’s not easy and I may not cope. Yes I do see the reality of it. But why not let me try it on my own before hiring help? Why already tell ourselves, “we won’t be able to handle it” and surrender to extra help without even trying?

And since I’m great at being the middle-man and compromising and negotiating, here’s my compromise: We will hold off hiring a maid. We will try my arrangement and if it works out, then it makes everyone happy. If I cannot cope and bring out the white flag, then I will be more willing to accept that I will need to house a complete stranger for the next 2 years.

I just wish people like my MIL will stop telling us what to do. I’m not your average daughter-in-law who will listen to everything you say. I have my own strong beliefs and if you try to put them down or ignore them, then I will put on a fight. Now now, things can get ugly and we don’t want that, do we?

Besides, if you keep telling me to pray for a good, trouble-less maid, why not you pray for me to have strength and wisdom in looking after my kids on my own?

Which makes me feel guilty about sleeping and then I wake up feeling horrible because I’ve been sleeping a lot. But I feel that I’m spending more cuddly time with my daughter these days. We can just sit on the sofa together and stare blankly at the TV. I like this way of bonding. No effort, just need to slack.

The morning sickness is not going away yet. These days it’s more of surprise visits which I totally loathe cause it’s really unpredictable. I can feel all ready to head out, but the next minute it hits me in the face and all I want to do is lie in bed.

This feeling really sucks. Sigh.

Here in Singapore, the Baby Bonus is an incentive by the government to encourage married couples to have children. Cash incentives are given, as well as a matching deposit bonus in which the government matches the deposits into your child’s bank accounts dollar for dollar up to $6k.

This probably stems from the woes of married couples who feel that with the raising costs of living in Singapore, having a child can add to the financial burden of a family. Thus, the Baby Bonus also doubles up as some sort of a financial aid to deal with the costs of raising the baby. In my opinion, the cash incentive will probably be wiped out within the 1st year of having your baby, whether you use private or public healthcare.

So anyway many single moms are upset that they are not eligible for Baby bonus because they are not legally married to their child’s father. In some ways, single parents do require a lot more financial assistance because the child is dependent on 1 person’s salary. And since mommy/daddy needs to work to raise the child, the child will most probably be sent to the child care, adding up to costs. For married couples like ourselves, we depend on one person’s salary, while the other stays at home to look after the child, eliminating the need of arranging child care arrangements. For others, child care costs may (or may not) be manageable if both parents are working.

However, I feel that many single parents perceive the Baby Bonus scheme as a financial aid, which I don’t really blame them. Some think it is pointless to marry the husband, just to have the legally married status, then get the baby bonus. But end up the marriage fails and they divorce. Anyway I think it’s stupid to marry the father just to get the money, then divorce him. By the way divorcees are eligible for Baby Bonus.

So they’re very upset that why they are unable to get the Baby Bonus because they are also contributing to the population. They have made a choice to keep the baby instead of aborting the child, since statistically most of such cases arise from unplanned pregnancies. Some are upset to the point that they feel it’s rubbish for the government to encourage complete family units, blah blah blah.

I have nothing against single parents. I just feel that sometimes they have failed to see things beyond this. Married couples couples are not necessarily more financially capable of raising children than single parents. There are couples who are poorly educated, thus have low income jobs. They combined salary can be as  little as less than $1k a month.

Besides, the MCYS does see case-to-case basis and sometimes grant Baby Bonus to single parents with a valid reason.

The Baby Bonus was targeted to encourage married couples to have children, not to encourage single parents to keep their babies. But that doesn’t mean that all single parents should abort their babies in the event of an unwanted pregnancy. If unwed couples decide to keep the baby and try to form a family together, then that’s really a baby bonus I guess.

I know there will be some single parents who read this will start bombarding me and arguing back some of my points. But essentially my point is, the Baby Bonus is an incentive to married couples to have babies. That’s all. And I’ve already explained, why the Baby Bonus scheme was initiated in the very first place. It was targeted solely at married couples.

If the government allows it to be given to single parents as well, true many moms will be very happy to have that extra cash on hand. But wouldn’t there be a bigger social problem?

But we try as much to meet-up, just us, sometimes with the little girl when I have no choice. Occasionally we meet each other at our parents’ place on some weekends. Otherwise it’s just chatting on MSNing that attempts to close the distance.

Unfortunately, she’s flying away in July with the husband and they won’t be back for good until 5 years later. Meanwhile it’s hard to say when and how often they’ll be back to visit. With a few months left, I’ve come up with a list of things I want to do with her before she flies off.

We (my husband and the kids) are thinking of visiting her next year end, but it all depends cause by then we’ll have to drag THREE kids all the way across the world, and let’s not even talk about the plane ride.

So here’s my list (for now):

• Brazilian wax
• Shop for baby stuff (and make her buy something for the twins)
• Order Macdonald’s (long story)
• Cook or bake something
• Swimming

That’s about it. I’m thinking of investing in a webcam so we can have video-conferencing. My parents already bought one! Right now I can only video-conference through my netbook, but it’s not exactly very speedy. So I thought I could get one for our desktop so that the kids can see her face properly.

Of course her going there means good news for me for the next five years. I get to grab all my Victoria’s Secrets, Old Navy, Gap, etc etc and have them shipped back to me. It’s like my personal Vpost service. How cool.